THE FRAANDSHEEPER

There are a lot of them out there – the cult that my friends and I call “THE FRAANDSHEEPERS”- the jobless morons who have nothing better to do than hunt for IDs of female species of humankind and drop in the offline. And it is just to avoid these pea-brained, minimal grey-celled jerks I stay invisible while online. This was one of those rare occasions when I was in visible mode while online and a bugger who had been sending me offlines had been online too..(very very unfortunate for him as I was in one of my “ambush –the-bugger” moods.)


Bugger: hi
I: n who would u be?
Bugger: what do u mean
I : which word of "who would u be?" dint u understand dude??
Bugger: i dnt get uuuu....srry
I: thats very obvious now' **sort of STUPID
Bugger: hmmm k ..what else what ru doing.........
I: what would u do with that piece of information??
B: i will be satisfied myself
I: ** WHAT?? as in?
B: say me yar what happen to u ........
I: eh?????
B: hey iam getting mad …. gooo
I: u dont get mad.. u "go " mad **not very good English
B: i think u wont hav mood to chat ok fine
I: yeah u should have realised that before .. ** “wont have mood??” Bad English.. !
B: ohhhh noooooooooooooooooooooooo
I: what?
B: hey say me u wont like to chat.............
I: i thought i made that very obvious to u **BLINK BLINK
I: sad u din realise that before n made a fool of yourself for so long
B: nooooo
I: what no??
B:
I: now whats with showing your teeth? ** awright hes a GRADE A+ dimwit
B: hey say me ur yahoo id
I: why??** DUMB he’s chatting on the YM 
B: plzzz once requesting
B: plzzzz
I: what would u do with that though?/
B: hey plzzzz plzzzzzzzzzzzz
I: unless u give me a valid reason i wouldn’t
B: belive me plzzzz
I: believe u?? ** WHAT?? is this a movie dialogue.. ?? :O
B: do u have orkut id .................
I: n why would u wany that?
B: heyyyyyy diss toooooooo much
I: what is too much? **YEAH , u r getting on my nerves now
B: heyyyyy plzzzzz dont make me irritate
I: then why dont u just buzz off??** are u some food im cooking?that sounds like the food saying “hey don’t make me salty “
B: no i want to know who ru..........hey give me ur id i will send u mail
I: NO,thank u
B: hey who ru ,............OH! The main bugger was his brother .Family of buggers,,
B: just i want to know
B: nu na bro ki frnd aaa or else any other aaaa ane * translation: r u my brothers friend or someone else..
I: so spying on your brother eh??
B: hahahah
B: i got his password ...then i got u .... so say me who ru ...
I: n if i dont? ** WHAT?? Am I some kind of trophy?? Really irritated
B: hey say me whoo ruuuu
B: mad aaa neku * roughly translated : r u mad??
I: whats that ??
B: yaaaa u correct if u wont say i will loose sis
I: u will what?? ** A SIS?? :O :O Not happening ! Not happening
B: hey say me who ru ................?
I: awright say, i told u who i am.. what would u do with that lil piece of info ??
B: i do blackmail ..hahah
I: u said u r a 8th std kid dincha?
B: ya ..so what
I: so u r somthing like 13 years now? **and a total jackass
Bugger: no iam 14 now
I: oh then jus take a piece of advice frm me. u r an underage kid
Bugger: so
I: n all the underage kids are to be supervised while they r using the internet
Bugger: ya we use …iam from dehi public school u know …what ru talking
I: whom are u kidding? im talking english dude * PS: DPS is one of the most reputed schools in the country
im talking english dude
Bugger: i know that
I: i doubt it
Bugger: leave that all mam say what u do
I: i dont reveal my personal details to every layman i come across ** and certainly not to a cowdung -filled-brain like u.
Bugger: where u stay
I: do u know what "personal details " are??
Bugger: i knowww
I: i doubt u r frm DPS ** and i doubt if u got greycells
Bugger: hahhaah
Bugger: i know that but say me any thing about u
I: why do i have to? ** u wouldn’t understand anyway.
Bugger: u should bcoz i wasted my time with u
I: i never asked u to ** bha! As if I asked for this and he spent millions
Bugger: iam asking u kadhaaa
I: i have no obligation towards u
Bugger: iam getting sleep
I: so go n sleep
Bugger: i wont get sleep
I: n its pretty late for an 8th grader to be up at this time **decide if u r sleepy or not first
Bugger: noo
I: do u realise that your hacking of ur brothers id n using it for no useful purpose, without anybody watching over u can be cited as a cyber crime?
Bugger: abhaaaa
Bugger: hey ur madddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd…byeeee
I: scared eh?? **MISSION SUCCESSFUL.. 1 bugger down
Bugger: Heyyy... how u doin?
I: **what?? Again !!!
Bugger: Hey I just realized...you look a lot like my next girlfriend
I: this is absolutely lame ** what?? GOD FORBID that for ur own good
Bugger: hahahah
I: whats so funny?
Bugger: : < loads of smileys and audibles>
I: very lame …n an unimpressive way of attracting audience
Bugger: talk perfect english and understanding ok na … hey u mistaken i never try to impress to attract audience
I: then u wouldnt be so persistent
Bugger: i came to know that u dnt know english
I: wow!! sad for u ** oh?? Is it? Rolling eyes
Bugger: ya then that will be use to my brooo …but i cant understand what ru saying u
…go its late byeeee …cu tc
I: i seem to be talkin the proper english i suppose thats what u mean
Bugger: hv aaa nice sleep… gooooo
I: go??....whereto?
Bugger: what ru doing at this time ?
I: none of your business
B: i dnt hv any business …. hahaha
I: sad..shows your understanding of english
Bugger: ok byeeee u know my brooo aaa
I: dont forget to work on your english
B: how to do
I: u r frm dps arent u? u must be smart enough to work that out then
Bugger: fom where how should i do
I: figure out dude.u dont pay fees for nothing ** :O :O
Bugger: ya ..say me ..how should i do that
I: forget it
Bugger: what to 4get
I: u r hopeless case i have come across
Bugger: hahahah
I: n the most foolish
Bugger: plzzz help
I: buzz off
Bugger: hey u scolding me aaa
I: i have better manners than u do ** Actually, I would love to slap u …
Bugger: hey say me akka plzzz…how to work out my English
I: buzz off kid! *PS: akka means elder sis ..
Bugger: byeeee i think i never chat with u again bcoz my bro will chage password
I: ** DANG!! There goes my stress buster.. :P

--UNTITLED--

“ Bye mom” I yelled while I pulled my new bag over my shoulders and rushed out of home.the old one was much better .. more comfortable. Ill get used to this I thought. I heard her shout back warning me against being seen hanging around in the sun. I grunted and paying no heed to her words went out to meet my friend.

‘was dark and beautiful and bigger than most of the counterparts. the cliché ‘ tall ,dark and handsome’ always rang in my head when we were together… its been very long we had been together probably more than eight years and I clearly remember the day we met.-- my uncle had returned from his first trip to US and I had gone to pay him a visit. It was then we met and I had been in love ever since.. my parents had approved of it then, but lately they haven’t been very understanding.. They had even tried talking to me out of it.. and their reason being the looks are torn, battered as if ‘s been drunk and got into fights… but eight years is a very long time..

but then yesterday, while we were returning home, a speeding truck buzzed past me. I jumped at the nearness of the speeding vehicle and turned around to check .. but it was too late.. I had heard the tear.. there was my love torn in the middle and an arm ripped off.. my heart broke ...my bag.. my companion of eight long years.. right from the days in school… I held it tenderly and brought it back home….it wouldnt been the same...**sighhh...

IT CERTAINLY COULD HAVE BEEN......

As I waddled my way through the knee deep rain water trying to keep the not-so- nice thoughts of what-not disgusting solvents the concoction would consist of, I could hear the clear, unmistakable voice of my mum echoing in my head asking me how my day had been. The same soothing tone of hers when she somehow gets to know that something is wrong- hearing which I would just blurt out the problem that had been worrying me and somehow just as a miracle the solution emerges..

But now, she was not with me and I was putting in all my efforts so as not to lose my footwear in the water. But the echoing sound certainly had an effect and I couldn’t help murmuring “it certainly could have been better” and recalled my day or rather the not-so-nice events of the day …

I had to go to BHEL for my summer project and to start with, the friend with whom I had been going for the past 1 week had to attend more pressing matters and couldnt make it. So I had to go in the bus. But sadly I didn’t know the bus route to the place.

Finally, after bugging a couple of people at the bus stop as to which bus I ought to board, I got onto the bus that almost goes to the place(no direct buses to BHEL), beyond which I had to take a shared auto. But the auto driver misunderstood, and took me to the wrong place. After the blame game, I took another auto coming in the opposite direction which took me to the right BHEL. *phew!! (certainly not a nice beginning to the day!)

Inside the institute, after what seemed like ages, the paper work that had been pending for a week got over!! (I can bet that the snail would move faster!) a work that had to be over in an hour or so took me more than half a day!

Then comes the Guide!! Probably the worst part of the day! Nothing is worse than having a guide who would say that u would be lucky if u get an output! And then hands u that problem as your project! (he exactly did that!)

And then the rains... heavy rains with whirly winds and lightning and thunderstorm.. though the rains stopped , they left behind them the roads with water up to knee length and s bad traffic jam. Couldn’t take the autos either and I was around 1 ½ kms away from home…I decided to walk home and was waddling my way when I heard my moms voice echoing in my head… “it certainly could have been better “ I murmured again.

And suddenly a thought.. a forwarded joke to be more precise about a painfully optimistic man who always said “it could have been worse” struck me.. and brought about an instant smile. And precisely at the same time a raindrop fell on my forehead…like God wanted to tell me.. “yes that’s right.. it could have been worse u could have got stuck in the rain or the paper work wouldnt have finished at all or you could have got lost altogether but nothing of that sort happened!"

Thinking about it again, i guess i was just tested only upto the limit i could endure it ..so that i emerge stronger rather than break under the pressure.. probably It wasn’t that bad afterall…it certainly could have been worse...